Who would think when you sign up for a yoga teacher training class in Auburn California that you would end up sailing around the San Francisco Bay on a beautiful Sunday afternoon for one of your class days?  That’s what I love about life, is that if you are open, you just never know where the day will take you.  I thank any of you who sent a positive thought for a fair-weather day, because it could not have been a prettier day on the bay.  After so much hard work on everyone’s part, it was nice to relax and spend an amazing day enjoying the surrounding beauty and getting to know each other aside from on the mat.
This experience continues to amaze me … stretch me … challenge me … and delight me.  I think every once in a while, what if I hadn’t signed up?  I wouldn’t know what I was missing.  And I guess that in a nutshell is life.  We make our choices, and life is always a compromise.  When we choose one direction, there is alternatively another choice down a different path with entirely different possibilities.  And I don’t believe so much in right or wrong, as every experience in life has its lessons.  I think more that it’s just important to try our best to make sound choices, and continually engage with that wise soul deep inside … Am I happy?  Am I feeling fulfilled?  Is there more I want to do or need to do?  What’s next?
And again, I can’t emphasize enough, no right or wrong answers.  For me, though, I want to feel I’ve used my time wisely and made a difference.  I can’t help but have some regrets when this life is over, as I’m human, and I’ve made my share of mistakes. I’ll be okay with that.  What I don’t think I will be okay with is regretting what I didn’t do.  Those are the moments we do have the control over.  We can make the choice to put one foot in front of the other even when it’s hard, even when we are afraid, if there’s something worthwhile at the other end.  And even if whatever we try doesn’t turn out, there’s much less regret in that than in letting yourself down without trying.
As I’ve said before in this blog, sometimes I feel like there’s a higher power aiding and abetting this journey I am on, my blog, the yoga training.  As I’m sitting here writing this, my cell phone rings and the caller id is MY NUMBER, and it says “maybe Sue Ferrera”  on my screen.  What?  How does that work?  I didn’t answer it.  I was a little afraid.  After all, there’s so many strange things going on these days with technology, can’t be too careful.  I did check, however, to see if I left myself a message.  So far, I have not.  My friend, Peter, said I should have answered as it might be a call from Green Acres.
In the scheme of this post, though, this call makes me think wouldn’t it be great if some future version of myself had the power to give me a ring to tell me hey, you might want to avoid this or that or hey, you’re really on to something there!
Unless today is the start of some new phenomenon, for now I will just have to be satisfied to listen to that inner voice and try to make as many possible choices as I can that leave me feeling like I did yesterday, just happy to be right where I was and knowing I was doing something very positive for myself, and hopefully others down the line.
Closing, check out this post from a fellow blogger, Yogafivefifty,  I read it yesterday morning and loved it as it’s just what I was feeling Sunday.  Whatever brings me moments like what he describes, that’s what I want to remember when I look back one day, A LOT of very contented moments.
P.S. By the way, I just called back again.  I was on the phone, so I could not answer myself.  If I call a third time, I’m going to answer to see what I have to say.  I’ll keep you posted.

That Devil in your Ear

A few preliminary comments before I delve into yoga topics.  First, this morning,  just wanted to wish my dearest Lorene a happy birthday.  Make it a good one, sissy.
Second topic on my list, my mate, Paul S ( stepped up to represent and welcomed me to the UK a few days ago, which was wonderful.  And I’m not complaining (just sayin’) it’s still just me and Paul.  Where are the rest of my peeps?  And, I mean, I love Paul S, don’t get me wrong, nothing against Paul, he’s a fabulous bloke, really.  But I’m feeling a bit gutted as I was just thinking it would be a larger turnout for my homecoming.
But you know the saying, when God closes one door, somewhere he opens a window (or in this case, when he only opens a door by a smidgen and you can’t seem to fit in because you weigh too much … okay, digressing again) well, my new yoga buddy and fellow blogger in Asia,, on the other hand has brought me a few new friends, so thank you, and Namaste.
It’s all good, and I am so enjoying writing this blog.  I probably will say this a lot throughout my posts, but your comments and likes mean more than I can say.  I can’t respond during my work hours, but do try to follow up later in my day.  I tuck your responses away until I can spend some time, and they feel like tiny presents waiting for me at the end of my work day.  It feels almost tangible.  Amazing.
My hope is that amidst the joking, that we can connect on some of the serious topics I touch on, weight, health, stress, etc.  Your responses bring us all closer to realizing that none of us are alone, and that at the end of the day, we are all human, with strengths and weaknesses.  When we begin to let go of our fear of discussing a problem, we find that there are so many people with exactly the same issues feeling exactly the same way as we do.  For me, at least, that helps me take that deep breath and really look at the problem and begin finally to address it.  So, please continue to share your thoughts.
On to yoga. I attended class Wednesday night, one final class before our training starts.  Feeling a little like when I’m going to the dentist and I get so much better about flossing the two weeks before my appointment.  (Yeah, the dentist doesn’t notice, right?)
During class my anxiety about the training was definitely starting to kick in (or maybe that was just the yogi’s foot next to me, was a pretty crowded class.)  That voice in my head can be so negative.  (hey lady, you in the last row, can you put a cork in it!  We heard you the first five times you said it.)
I mean, really, I’m sure I’m not alone on this … when I start to obsess or stress about something, my inner voice just keeps repeating the same thing like in minute intervals, and it’s such a negative dialogue.  In class Wednesday night I got really tired, and I needed to rest.  Instead of being nurturing and kind like I would be to anyone else, that devilish dialogue starts in, “I don’t think you’re ready for this training.  Oh, yeah, the teacher must be looking at you thinking, sweetheart, you are NOT ready for the training class.   What were you thinking when you signed up for this class?  And aside from that, you really should floss more.”
I got to laughing at myself the other day because I was thinking, man, if I talked to my loved ones or friends (hopefully they are one and the same) like I talk to myself, repeating the same negative things over and over again A) they’d be having thoughts about my short-term memory problem, and B) they probably wouldn’t be my loved ones for long.
Ever since I had that comical visual, I’ve been more cognizant of that inner dialogue, and turning it off a bit sooner.  Bottom line, it’s usually just fear getting the better of me.  And if I can consciously bring a positive thought in disrupting the negative flow, it’s pretty effective.
So, on that note, I’ve prepared myself with some positive thoughts that I will keep handy beginning tonight.
Bloody good job, Sue.  You are blinding (not too sure about that one, bringing up a bad image)  but supposedly blinding is a good thing. Brilliant job!  What an Ace.  Cheers, you should be chuffed managing to do that pose.  Hunky-dory, little mate.
It’s just important that I show my peeps that I’m serious about being British.  And in the not too distant future I will be a lot smaller and I’m planning to slide through that crack in the door.  I just hope Paul S is not the only Brit welcoming me.
As always, thanks for sharing.  Send a positive thought my way the next few days.  Will be back next week to share my experience.  You all have a wonderful weekend.  I know I will.