Release, part two

This post seems to be a follow up to my last post entitled “Release.” Probably no coincidence, the ideas presented themselves to me yesterday morning in my second visit to the restorative yoga class on Monday mornings at The Healing Shala in Cool. Last week with Christmas was far too busy to attend, but yesterday I decided it would be a great way to close out the year.

We spent the weekend in our yard preparing our plants and trees for the winter ahead. We pruned and raked I believe what must have been a million leaves, and my favorite, burned the leaves, debris, and cuttings in our firepit all day long.

As I left yesterday morning to go to yoga, I spent a minute looking at the trees and hydrangeas in front that we had pruned over the weekend. They seemed so bare, stripped of any of this season’s remaining beauty, cut back by at least a third of their height, and all deadwood removed. To the uneducated eye, one might think they had died.

As I situated myself on my yoga mat, our teacher Lynette, instructed us once again to set a mantra for the practice. I decided it made sense to focus on closure and renewal since the new year is upon us. As my yoga practice ensued, my mind kept returning to the vision of my plants/trees as I left them.

 I often return to nature, both in my life and my writing, to offer guidance.

The vision of my barren trees and plants made me feel so peaceful. Removing the remainder of their decaying leaves, resting after a busy and productive year, all that remains is their core. The plants can no longer hide beneath their leaves and blossoms. Their forms and the shape of their branches tell the story of their existence. Decayed limbs have been removed, allowing other parts of the tree to become productive and robust. They will lie dormant through the winter, a time of restoration, gathering strength for the coming spring.

Are we any different? To remain healthy and grow strong, we, too, must spend time without our “leaves.” We need to turn inward to quietly replenish our stores. And we must cut the deadwood as it keeps us from becoming the healthiest version of ourselves. If a plant’s limb or branch dies and it is not cut away, the tree continues to try to send its energy and nutrients to the dead branch. This process, over time, damages the parts of the tree that are healthy, as they do not receive what they need to thrive.

Again, I ask, are we any different? Perhaps a human’s winter should also be spent in quiet restoration, looking closely at what serves us well in our lives, and probably more importantly at what doesn’t.

I look forward to the next few weeks, returning again to our yard to complete the necessary winter preparations, creating as many firepit sessions as I can squeeze out of that, and then moving inside for the duration… indoor fires, writing and reading, old movies, card games and puzzles, yummy stews and comfort food, and quiet reflection for the coming year.

Happy New Year to all of my readers. I wish you, above all, peacefulness in the new year.

Release

After spending a wonderful weekend with our friends, Janet and Lalo, I bid them farewell yesterday morning with gratitude in my heart for the blessing of having friends like them. I’ve always been a crier at the end of anything that I’ve particularly enjoyed, relationships, visits, vacations, jobs, etc. The end of their visit was no exception. My throat closed, and my eyes welled with tears as I stood on our driveway waving goodbye.

I was reminded once again that we can’t hold on to life too tightly. We must let go over and over again and trust in tomorrow. That concept does seem to get more comfortable as I age, which I appreciate.

For the last few weeks, I had been researching yoga classes closer to home, and yesterday was the day I would try a new class right here in our little town of Cool at The Healing Shala, a sweet small yoga studio that opened within the last year. I had done a tiny bit of reading on the teachers and decided I would attend Lynette Masztakowski’s restorative yoga on Monday mornings. After such a lovely weekend, what a fantastic way to carry the goodness into my Monday.

Lynette, as well as the other members of the class, welcomed me with smiles and greetings, a nice benefit to a small group. I felt instantly at home. Lynette asked if I’d ever been to a restorative class, and I answered yes. I thought I had. Turns out, I have never been to a restorative class. I was in for a treat.

Instead of pushing and digging deep physically (which is also great), this experience was about releasing and going inward in a meditative way. I absolutely loved it and just wanted to share a few things that I came away with.

In the first few poses, we laid on our backs with a small roll beneath our ribs, our arms outstretched with palms up. The posture felt so unfamiliar, my head dropping back and my chest reaching for the sky. When I say it felt heavenly, I don’t mean that that it felt physically great, although it did. All those muscles that typically are contracting as I’m hunched over a computer or phone were suddenly stretching in the opposite direction. We would hold each pose for 8-10 minutes providing time to think and meditate. It felt terrific once my muscles settled in.

But what I mean when I say it felt heavenly was that my heart was lifted toward the skies and the heavens beyond, open and trusting, my arms also wide open. There’s no hiding in that pose.

And I must tell you, the thoughts I had for the next twenty or so minutes were pretty profound. I thought about life and God, and surrendering to my fate, something I must do every day of my life, along with the rest of my brothers and sisters on this spinning planet.

Lynette had asked us to select a mantra or a thought for the practice, and I chose “release.” It seemed fitting this day.

As I lay lifting my heart, arms wide open offering whatever “release” resonated within me, I was bombarded by many healing physical feelings as well as a mind full of thoughts about what release actually meant to me. I won’t go into everything as obviously, some moments are mine for the keeping, but here’s what I will share.

What I saw as a vision during my mediation is that release is required over and over and over again in our lives. We don’t release people or subjects just one time. We must continue to release them again and again until we no longer feel the need. 

As I stated at the beginning of this post, goodbyes (which also could be considered releases) are hard for me. I have fought them the better part of my life. During my poses, my mind shifted like a photo shutter showing me what has come of all my releases. And I could see that as difficult as some of them have been, it’s because of them that I have become solid and content and secure. I live my days in love with my family and friends, my home, my life, and maybe most important, myself. I am aware of my body to the degree that I’ve never been. I marvel at our nerve endings, which can produce such pleasurable feelings. And I understand that those same nerve endings can offer the opposite by way of pain, so I give thanks to the goosebumps I experience in a hot shower. What a blessing that is.

I finished my restorative yoga class, having covered quite a distance in my mind. I climbed into my car and drove back down our country road, with a thankfulness for releases and all the changes they offer, an anticipation of the final holidays of the year, and looking forward to many more visits to restorative yoga at The Healing Shala.

Life carries us like a river, and often times we can get displaced if the current moves too quickly. Moving back up the river can be a bitch. Find your way. Mine is yoga and the outdoors. But everyone has their own love, and there are as many choices as there are souls on this earth. No right or wrong. Just pay attention to what wakes up your insides… it’s a personal invitation from God. Accept it.